Tag: Respect

A defining story

Have you ever stopped to think about what narrative defines you and the way you view the world?

I recently read this quote from one of my favourite teachers Franciscan monk Fr. Richard Rohr; “How we begin is invariably how we end and how we proceed. Our creation story is important.”

This set my mind of whirring about the impact of narratives and I had to write some of my thoughts down. Narratives can be such powerful drivers in shaping the way we interact with life, people and the world. Many of us unwittingly carry negative narratives around with us and we don’t realise how they can completely dictate our course in life.

As a perfectionist I have constant critical, negative self-talk going on in my head no matter what I am doing. For as long as I can remember that voice has been trying to, with some success dictate how I perceive life. Trying to undermine my enjoyment, my freedom to express, my willingness and ability to let others in.

Over the last year or so I have started to invest time in understanding perfectionism and the impact it has on people. During this time I have become more and more aware of this voice than I ever was before. I began to realise how many elements of my life it had secreted itself into and the impact that had on me.

Fortunately as a follower of Jesus and having grown up around this ‘Jesus-culture’ I have also had an overwhelmingly positive narrative spoken into my life at the same time. A narrative that starts with the words; ‘God created……and saw that it was good’ (my paraphrase) and leaves the ending open with a promise that; ‘there is now no separation between God and humanity’ (again my paraphrase)

And so despite these two competing narratives vying  for my attention on a daily basis, while I can’t prevent myself hearing either I do have a choice about which I believe and allow to define my reality.

So I would like to modify Richard Rohr’s above statement to say this instead; ‘How we choose to begin is invariably how we end and how we proceed.’

So what is your narrative? And how does it define you?

 

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”

Genesis 1:31

Are you really listening?

One of the essential needs of all humans beings is to be heard above being corrected with ‘the right answer’. As subconsciously we equate being heard with being accepted possibly even loved. Yet how often do we actually listen to what someone is saying?

More often than not I find myself thinking about how to solve their problem or, coming up with reasons why I disagree with them or, worse still trying to come up with witty comment so that somehow I still get attention.

Let your mind revisit recent conversations and reflect upon your actions and responses.

When we resist these urges and truly, deeply listen to what is being said we achieve a deeper level of perception where we are able to understand what is being communicated. We enter a new level of connection with the person who is speaking and let them into our heart, the depth of who we are.

We have engaged with their ‘being’ and discovered more about them but in some way we’ve also learnt more about ourselves.

When we are willing to sacrifice ourselves for others, willing to let them into our hearts and get involved in their lives we will both be transformed.

“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

James 1:19

Do you perceive it?

It is interesting the range of responses there are to the term ‘faith’, many people have honestly told me that they don’t possess ‘a faith’; in terms of feeling like they belong to any religious group in particular.

A helpful definition for faith could be; ‘A belief/trust/confidence in someone or something, based on a spiritual conviction rather than ‘concrete proof’’. A deep knowing about something rather being able to see it.

I believe many people, whether consciously or subconsciously understand or perceive that there is some illusive, mysterious yet discernible pattern to life and all that comes with it. For Christians and people of many other faiths this ‘discernible pattern’ is God-at-work.

The Bible repeatedly reminds us that the method in which God operates in the world is love. Through all of life’s moments; the exhilarating highs and the shattering lows God’s love is at work to bring something good out of them. That kind of love has the power change people, situations and the world.

The love described in the passage above was demonstrated by Jesus during his life and describes God’s love. What would it look like if you and I had ‘faith’ in that kind of love and sought to model it in our everyday lives?

 

“Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude…. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7