‘Finding Yourself’

It sounds clichéd doesn’t it! However in reality most people spend large portions of their lives trying to ‘find themselves’, and where they ‘fit’, or ‘belong’. Feeling like you have found yourself, I believe is strongly linked to having purpose.

A ‘calling‘ can be defined as, ‘a strong impulse or inclination towards a particular way of life, activity or career, or vocation.‘

Yet it can be difficult to figure out what that might be. There are so many conflicting views on what validates calling. Increasingly in our consumer-driven society the validation is based around whether it will bring acknowledgement and be profitable. Neither of which I feel are helpful in this process.

Why is finding my calling, or purpose important?

A calling at its heart it is the thing or things that in doing you feel most deeply fulfilled and realised as a person. I remember a quote that puts it like this:

‘Work should be as close as possible to the fulfilment of our natures and the expression of our divine creativeness – work shall be such as a man or woman may do it with their whole heart, and that they shall do it for the very work’s sake.‘

It provides us with purpose, meaning and ultimately self-acceptance which in turn empowers us to accept and honour others.

How do I find my calling?

There are many different ways you could discern what your calling is. I offer one method which I found useful and have adapted slightly from the author Stephen Covey in his book ‘The seven habits of highly effective people’.

I have adapted this exercise into a meditation which may help you to begin to engage with those thoughts and feelings at the centre of your being. It will help you imagine outside of your false self or ego allowing you to be vulnerable with yourself.

In the process, my hope is that you will learn to be gracious towards yourself, whilst at the same time realising areas within your sphere of influence, that you have power to proactively make positive changes in.

What do I do once I’ve found my calling?

Live it out, pursue it and let it transform your entire being, your outlook, your politics, your relationships and your society. Be an example of it to others and guide them to their own journey of self-discovery.

The Meditation

You need to invest good amount of time in this as there will be a lot of information brought up that you will need to process. Make notes as you go along and feel free to break the meditation up into sections if that works best for you.

Setting the scene 

Imagine you live a long and successful life. on your 100th birthday your family organise a surprise party for you. There are people invited from all the different areas of your life. Imagine the colours, the smells, the excitement and happiness in that space.

All these people are here to honour you and express their love and appreciation for you and your life.

During the party 4 people from different areas of your life get up to give a speech about you; someone from your family, someone from your friendship group, someone from your work and someone from a community project that you have been involved in.

Visualisation

Spend some time thinking about what you would want each of these people to say about you.

• Your family – what would you want them to say about you? what were you like as a spouse, a parent, a brother or sister, a relative? Your character? Your motivations? Your gifts and talents?

 

• Your friend – what would you want them to say about you? what were you like as a friend? Your character? Your motivations? Your gifts and talents?

 

• Your work colleague – what would you want them to say about you? what were you like as a work colleague, an employee? Your character? Your motivations? Your gifts and talents?

 

• Someone you volunteered with – what would you want them to say about you? what were you like as a community member, a volunteer? Your character? Your motivations? Your gifts and talents?

Reflection 1

Once you have gone through the above series of visualisations get some paper and write down the thoughts and feelings that came to your through the exercise. It could be for example a list of key words that describe you, activities or areas you feel passionate about.

Reflection 2

Then think about your life today, are you living in a way that expresses these goals? What if anything is preventing you from those goals? How? Why?

What now?

Over the next few days and weeks think through these things and begin to look at ways in which you can proactively begin to make changes within yourself, changes of focus or attitude that will enable you to move forwards.

Realise that all change has to begin within you. However, it may well be helpful to talk with a trusted friend about this process. If you are seeking to make changes ask this person to help keep you accountable, by regularly asking you how you are getting on with them.

 

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.“

Jeremiah 29:11